Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A New Beginning
All is well. i brought in the new year as a happily collared slave with a new Master. MasterIW is fine and we still speak. i will always love Him and will cherish the moments He gave me as my first Owner. i still do miss Him and the connection we had together. It was an extraordinary part of my journey, but we have both moved on.
Friday, December 14, 2007
The Gamble
I memorized the words to a Kenny Rogers long ago, when i was just a kid. It's called The Gambler. I recall it goes something like this: You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run.
MasterIW and i, we tried to play one last time....The stakes were high, and the game is over. I don't really know who won, but if i had to call it-- i'd say we both broke even.
I don't really think this post will make sense to most, and i don't mean to suggest it is just a game. It felt very real. And the consequences are real. This is just my way of dealing...right now.
MasterIW and i, we tried to play one last time....The stakes were high, and the game is over. I don't really know who won, but if i had to call it-- i'd say we both broke even.
I don't really think this post will make sense to most, and i don't mean to suggest it is just a game. It felt very real. And the consequences are real. This is just my way of dealing...right now.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Having O
I haven't wanted to admit it to myself, but i think it is becoming true. I no longer enjoy sex without submission. That's right. I need to feel submissive in order to get off. At least to really enjoy it. I guess that qualifies as a fetish. Will it lead to the need for something more extreme in the future? Who knows? Like submission + pain. Maybe one day i will be able to have an orgasm only if the submission and sex are accompanied by a form of pain. I guess it's not really a bad thing. Folks have all sorts of ways they 'help' themselves along to the big O.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
No, not even fucking quite yet
I placed an ad, and it turns out i am getting quite a bit of attention from would be male Doms. Hopefully there will be a good one in the bunch that will be. A good one for me. We'll see. It is Christmas time after all.
They seem to come with their own specialties. One is an enema 'Dr.' which is a curiosity of mine at the moment. I can imagine some yummy medical scenes, exams of my most vulnerable parts, taking my medications and injections like a good girl. I can hear Him telling me this might hurt a little. A chocolate lollipop for the good girl who doesn't whine.
Another Dom with whom i've spoken is very much into puppy slave training and orgasm control. i know a couple of puppies...may need some advice on that one. The "O" control thing is definitely intriguing. That is one area where i needed to do better according to MasterIW. i never figured out how he knew when i came without permission. Probably because i would have been begging and whining for it otherwise. Duh! Dog bowls and a litter box seem imminent
A third Dom is very experienced, a good deal older than me, and a very nice Dom. BUT he has a wife and another sub. Both lovely girls, but i am not too sure about it . Didn't i just leave a similar situation? Why would i do that again? Do i want another sister-slave? Perhaps the good ones already have subs...hmmm. i tend to be attracted to the mature and secure Dom. Not only do they know how to beat and torture you, but stimulating conversation is possible also.
Right now, i must say i am enjoying the attention. But the fact that i am still hung up on MasterIW does not bode well for anything serious. i speak with Him by phone on occasion, and i still get wet just from the sound of His voice. He probably reads this blog or will read at some point. but He has given me an ok to continue writing under iwingslave. Actually, i didn't ask for permission, i asked if MasterIW would be offended and He said no.
They seem to come with their own specialties. One is an enema 'Dr.' which is a curiosity of mine at the moment. I can imagine some yummy medical scenes, exams of my most vulnerable parts, taking my medications and injections like a good girl. I can hear Him telling me this might hurt a little. A chocolate lollipop for the good girl who doesn't whine.
Another Dom with whom i've spoken is very much into puppy slave training and orgasm control. i know a couple of puppies...may need some advice on that one. The "O" control thing is definitely intriguing. That is one area where i needed to do better according to MasterIW. i never figured out how he knew when i came without permission. Probably because i would have been begging and whining for it otherwise. Duh! Dog bowls and a litter box seem imminent
A third Dom is very experienced, a good deal older than me, and a very nice Dom. BUT he has a wife and another sub. Both lovely girls, but i am not too sure about it . Didn't i just leave a similar situation? Why would i do that again? Do i want another sister-slave? Perhaps the good ones already have subs...hmmm. i tend to be attracted to the mature and secure Dom. Not only do they know how to beat and torture you, but stimulating conversation is possible also.
Right now, i must say i am enjoying the attention. But the fact that i am still hung up on MasterIW does not bode well for anything serious. i speak with Him by phone on occasion, and i still get wet just from the sound of His voice. He probably reads this blog or will read at some point. but He has given me an ok to continue writing under iwingslave. Actually, i didn't ask for permission, i asked if MasterIW would be offended and He said no.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Not Quite Yet
Well peeking out again means a search for a new Dom. It is inevitable. Can a slave ever be satisfied without ownership? In the meantime, we make do by focusing on the only thing in life that feels important and the other thing in life that seems necessary regardless. 1. kids 2. work.
But feelings surface. Needs intensify. And you get up in the morning and want to get slapped hard on the face more than you want starbucks. That is when you know it's time. But it's scary out there. And online is filled with more nut jobs than one could imagine.
Survival of my partnership is questionable. I gave up being a slave to work on that relationship because i truly feel that my partnership and my partner are important in my life. I love my partner very much. But i fear my need for another type of bondage will always be a barrier. Also, at my age (fast approaching 40) i wonder that i should be moving onto another hobby and leave the slaving to younger girls. Not quite yet, i think.
But feelings surface. Needs intensify. And you get up in the morning and want to get slapped hard on the face more than you want starbucks. That is when you know it's time. But it's scary out there. And online is filled with more nut jobs than one could imagine.
Survival of my partnership is questionable. I gave up being a slave to work on that relationship because i truly feel that my partnership and my partner are important in my life. I love my partner very much. But i fear my need for another type of bondage will always be a barrier. Also, at my age (fast approaching 40) i wonder that i should be moving onto another hobby and leave the slaving to younger girls. Not quite yet, i think.
Peeking Out Again
Well, i'm back. To a degree. At least now i can read ya'lls other blogs without getting all depressed that i am not a slave anymore--which is progress. And one can even speculate if i ever WAS a slave. What with all the in and out of the M/s relationship that happened with MasterIW. The only thing i can say about it is for a moment, when i did feel owned, i felt more alive than i ever fucking have.
So i am rooting for all the M/s relationships out there. It ain't easy. One thing that i think i learned is that i am a difficult slave to own. What did He tell me? If i ever do get another Master, i shouldn't try to cut His balls off when He's not watching. Ouch! The truth of that hurts a little.
So i am rooting for all the M/s relationships out there. It ain't easy. One thing that i think i learned is that i am a difficult slave to own. What did He tell me? If i ever do get another Master, i shouldn't try to cut His balls off when He's not watching. Ouch! The truth of that hurts a little.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Where is Brooke?
Since i am not the slave of MasterIW any longer, i am not sure why i should still post here, except it's the only place i've ever felt at home for writing....things. Also i am not sure how He feels about me continuing to write here. What IF i found a new Master? Just in case anyone is reading, maybe someone knows what happened to one of our favorite bloggers--Brooke at Puppy Tales. Gone is her blog? I worry about her.
Well, happy Thanksgiving, though i don't really celebrate. I am doing my taxes instead.
Well, happy Thanksgiving, though i don't really celebrate. I am doing my taxes instead.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Time Passes
I miss this blog and i miss the people who used to read the blog and comment here. It has been almost four months since i last posted here. I thought time was all i needed--to quit missing Him and being His slave.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
You know you're screwed up when.....
...your therapist writes a chapter in her book based on your issues. i can picutre it. "Frozen piss in the freezer means your loved one should practice better boundaries"
My partner was somewhat suspicious of the new odd thing in our freezer lately. my eight-year old wanted to experiment with freezing her yogurt so that she could have a yogurt popsicle. vanilla with kind of a whitish-yellow color. i can only let you guess what that resembled.
My partner was somewhat suspicious of the new odd thing in our freezer lately. my eight-year old wanted to experiment with freezing her yogurt so that she could have a yogurt popsicle. vanilla with kind of a whitish-yellow color. i can only let you guess what that resembled.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Thanks
My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has commented with understanding and support. On the surface, I must maintain composure in my job, with the kids, and the vanilla world in general but underneath is a level of despair that feels insurmountable at times. I feel too old for this shit, this break-up drama on the scale of teen-age lost love. But it is what it is. MasterIW touched a part of me that was wondrous to discover.
I appreciate and enjoy this community, kinky deviants that you are, and will continue to lurk and read of your exploits.
Thank you
I appreciate and enjoy this community, kinky deviants that you are, and will continue to lurk and read of your exploits.
Thank you
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Why i was offline--again.
My blog has been offline for a few days. i am ashamed for a couple of reasons for anyone to read my blog anymore. i have been trying so hard to run two lives but i keep failing at both. so maybe it is just not possible. for those of you who followed my previous blog, you are aware i am married and live a life as a mother and partner, but that i have also lived secretly as Master IW's cunt slave since late 2006--except for the short time we broke it off. Having an affair with a married man and living a life of secrets has taken a lot of energy and an extreme toll on my ethics and what i regarded as my value system.
some time ago, i told my partner about my affair with MasterIW at which time she 'freaked' and i really figured she would leave me. She did not, and we began therapy with a very kink positive therapist. My partner could not handle my involvement with MasterIW so we (MasterIW and i) stopped seeing each other, though i remained very much connnected to him emotionally. It was easy to NOT see MasterIW because he was in recovery from major surgery. But over time, and with therapy, my Partner agreed to allow me to see MasterIW with some restrictions/boundaries. I do not wish to state what those were, except to say they were reasonable. However, during our next time together , MasterIW and i broke the rules, i blogged about the experience, and my partner found the link to my blog. Let's just say bringing the piss into the house i share with my partner was a bad idea.
So, i failed my partner in a huge way, possibly unforgiveable by having an affair. I also failed as a slave because a slave would have put the needs of her Master before her own. Finally, i failed myself because i was dishonest and that damaged my own integrity.
Maybe it means i never was a 'real' slave. my sister-slave was right about me wanting to have my cake and eat it too. guilty as charged. I DID want to be a slave without the pain of losing my partner. i operated under the premise that BOTH should be possible in a poly world but being dishonest about it brought the house down--again.
What will i do now? What will MasterIW do? This is Day 2 and i feel like an alchoholic having withdrawal symptoms. like a raccoon that chews its leg off to get out of the trap. not very noble of me, under the circumstances, since i should really be feeling grateful to my partner for understanding my pain when her own pain is so great, and grateful to MasterIW for understanding why i needed to withdraw myself . This is so fucked up. Yet again i'm not sure what direction the blog will take now, if at all. but i hope to continue reading my favorites. i've greatly enjoyed this community for the past year.
some time ago, i told my partner about my affair with MasterIW at which time she 'freaked' and i really figured she would leave me. She did not, and we began therapy with a very kink positive therapist. My partner could not handle my involvement with MasterIW so we (MasterIW and i) stopped seeing each other, though i remained very much connnected to him emotionally. It was easy to NOT see MasterIW because he was in recovery from major surgery. But over time, and with therapy, my Partner agreed to allow me to see MasterIW with some restrictions/boundaries. I do not wish to state what those were, except to say they were reasonable. However, during our next time together , MasterIW and i broke the rules, i blogged about the experience, and my partner found the link to my blog. Let's just say bringing the piss into the house i share with my partner was a bad idea.
So, i failed my partner in a huge way, possibly unforgiveable by having an affair. I also failed as a slave because a slave would have put the needs of her Master before her own. Finally, i failed myself because i was dishonest and that damaged my own integrity.
Maybe it means i never was a 'real' slave. my sister-slave was right about me wanting to have my cake and eat it too. guilty as charged. I DID want to be a slave without the pain of losing my partner. i operated under the premise that BOTH should be possible in a poly world but being dishonest about it brought the house down--again.
What will i do now? What will MasterIW do? This is Day 2 and i feel like an alchoholic having withdrawal symptoms. like a raccoon that chews its leg off to get out of the trap. not very noble of me, under the circumstances, since i should really be feeling grateful to my partner for understanding my pain when her own pain is so great, and grateful to MasterIW for understanding why i needed to withdraw myself . This is so fucked up. Yet again i'm not sure what direction the blog will take now, if at all. but i hope to continue reading my favorites. i've greatly enjoyed this community for the past year.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Piss Cube #2, Weight Check
My Slave,
Tomorrow you will take some of my frozen piss and take the chunk out and put it directly in your mouth, from there you will walk over to your coffee cup and let it whatever is left slide into your coffee, the piss that melts , you are to swallow. Then drink your coffee.Remember while you drink , that it is I that enters into you, that it is I , you belong to!I want to know your weight on Thursday Morning, so make sure you put it on the calender. I love you my slave.
Love
MASTER
Occasionally, i will post directly some correspondence from Master, verbatim. Well, sometimes, i correct His spelling-- but usually not. Another development in His shaping of me is weight check. This idea may be offensive to some, so let me say in His defense that Master has made it clear that He loves and is totally turned on by me at my current weight. I am the most unsatisified with myself. Master has never seen me "skinny" but i have. Well, not skinny like bony, but skinny with curves. That's me at my best. i do not expect to get back to my weight in my 20's but definitely plan to see a size 7. Sometimes i wish He would take even more control of what i eat but so far He is getting involved only to the point of monitoring my own progress. Perhaps He plans to become more strict if i falter or fail. Anyhow, i believe i have made a decent amount of progress. i show a loss of 3-4 lbs. for the month, so that sounds reasonable, healthy, and safe. although i just ate four cookies. For an incentive, i will begin posting my weight on the blog. That should make me more accountable.
Tomorrow you will take some of my frozen piss and take the chunk out and put it directly in your mouth, from there you will walk over to your coffee cup and let it whatever is left slide into your coffee, the piss that melts , you are to swallow. Then drink your coffee.Remember while you drink , that it is I that enters into you, that it is I , you belong to!I want to know your weight on Thursday Morning, so make sure you put it on the calender. I love you my slave.
Love
MASTER
Occasionally, i will post directly some correspondence from Master, verbatim. Well, sometimes, i correct His spelling-- but usually not. Another development in His shaping of me is weight check. This idea may be offensive to some, so let me say in His defense that Master has made it clear that He loves and is totally turned on by me at my current weight. I am the most unsatisified with myself. Master has never seen me "skinny" but i have. Well, not skinny like bony, but skinny with curves. That's me at my best. i do not expect to get back to my weight in my 20's but definitely plan to see a size 7. Sometimes i wish He would take even more control of what i eat but so far He is getting involved only to the point of monitoring my own progress. Perhaps He plans to become more strict if i falter or fail. Anyhow, i believe i have made a decent amount of progress. i show a loss of 3-4 lbs. for the month, so that sounds reasonable, healthy, and safe. although i just ate four cookies. For an incentive, i will begin posting my weight on the blog. That should make me more accountable.
Results
Master isn't pleased. He caned me properly but it left hardly any bruises. It hurt like hell, and did leave a few cane stripes, but no heavy bruising. Perhaps i'm building a tolerance? i really fear for my poor ass the next time....as i know Master likes seeing His marks on me for a very long time. Actually, He wants ME to see them for a very long time. Could He not be satisfied my bum was sore for a few days just from the hand spanking? It feels bruised, but deep down, not on the surface and hurts when i sit. and my clit is still sensitive from the strapping she received. not to mention the handprints he left behind on the tits of His cunt slave. He can't see how my mouth and jaw are sore from all the cock sucking. No, he wants to see bruises on His ass. sigh.
Fun with Master
i just spoke with Master on the phone. He makes me feel such the little girl. mentally, i sometimes go right into that headspace. silly, naughty little girl, spoiling for a spanking. i can hear the smile on His face as if he too anticpates shoving his lollipop into my little mouth, making me suck him to completion while he turns my bottom red. this from a discussion about the uncanny way we compliment the needs and fetishes of each other.
in real life i am far from a little girl. i think i'm a MILF, though. That's what naughtly little girls turn into after they are grown and have responsibilities. Master gives me license to be His little girl, woman, slave, slut, whore, bitch, cunt, lover, friend. Sometimes i play each role individually and then sometimes all rolled into one. Strangely, it is all possible with Him. He gets to fuck us all.
in real life i am far from a little girl. i think i'm a MILF, though. That's what naughtly little girls turn into after they are grown and have responsibilities. Master gives me license to be His little girl, woman, slave, slut, whore, bitch, cunt, lover, friend. Sometimes i play each role individually and then sometimes all rolled into one. Strangely, it is all possible with Him. He gets to fuck us all.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Verbal Triggers
"Open your legs." does it for me every time. i don't know why. It is just one of those verbal triggers that puts me on the fastrack to fucking subspace. Warp speed if He adds, "bitch" to the ending. i don't even know if Master is aware of it. "Open your legs, bitch!" Oh my fucking god, it makes me want to cum before He even gets started. i think i will make a list of things as i think of them....i wonder what triggers other subs & slaves.
Piss Cube #1
take one piss cube out of the freezer. rub it on clit, pussy lips, and nipples. taste His salty offering. lick it. suck it before slipping the cube into my morning coffee. it looks like a normal workday. only i will know it's a grande vanilla latte with double shot of expresso plus one extra shot...of piss. as i sit at my desk, i remember it running hot down my throat just a few days before with cock inserted into throat. swallow, swallow, swallow His hot piss like a good little piss slut. it makes me feel extremely submissive to be used by Master in such a base way. as his urinal. When He goes into the bathroom, i wait to hear my name. Then i run to him and kneel with my mouth open and ready for his stream and i look up at him. it's an extremely intense experience to look into Master's eyes as i drink from Him.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Serving my Purpose
there is so much to write about today. my entire body aches from hard use by Master and it was even better than i had imagined
i am guilty of driving while in subspace. i left His presence today floating on a cloud of submissive adoration. i worried about getting pulled over for erratic driving and the officer finding the container of piss that i had so carefully iced in the cooler before leaving Him. urine transport is not against the law but what ever would i say? it is not clear to me what Master will have me do with the piss cubes i will make when i get home, but one can guess. they are waiting in the freezer right now as i sit here typing....
back to the scene. it was a gorgeous day but we moved inside to do the business we had come for. i wore jeans with a low cut leather vest that zipped up the front and displayed my more than ample cleavage. Master unzipped the vest half way while He enjoyed a smoke and i stood about with nervous fear and lust combined, feeling like prey before the predator pounces.
He allowed my request to 'freshen up' which means i went into the bathroom and fretted that the enema i had given myself wasn't effective enough and maybe He would fuck my ass and maybe it would be dirty and then it would be a scat experience in my mouth because one of my functions as a cunt whore is to keep His cock clean. fuss & fret. at least His cunt was waxed and smooth. He was waiting so out i must go. Stripped and naked to my Master except for my collar.
Straight onto His cock with my mouth. The first thing He did,of course, was inspect my asshole. i thought, How the FUCK does He know? nervous and humiliated i tried to twist my ass out of His way as He pulled my asscheeks apart and began exploring with His fingers (for some reason that is a fucking vulnerable feeling). retreating from Master's touch is NOT the thing to do with Master and probably the one thing for which i've had the most severe punishments. a hard spanking ensued while i worked on His cock and Master berated me for my disappointing behavior then kicked me to the floor where i waited for His order to spread my legs. Apparently i didn't deserve to get fucked yet so instead got my cunt strapped. a thin leather strap Master used to strike at my cunt lips, clit, and the tender area around my asshole area that He previously inspected. attempts to close my legs to the pain resulted in an even more severe strapping of my inner thighs. i always beg and plead for him to stop. He always ignores me. Regardless of the pain, my cunt is slippery and wet. so close to orgasm and beginning that hungry need to be filled that reduces me further to the greedy, begging, pain slut, cock whore that i am.
Master announces i will earn the privilege first. He will call a stranger (a friend to Master but someone i've never met or seen) and i will say whatever i need to say to get him excited and make him cum. i have never been good at phone sex. i am extremely shy and the thought of doing this embarrasses me. i fear i just sound stupid and phony. but the alternative was having the guy actually come over, so i did it. and you know, it wasn't that hard. apparently guys are horny and easy this way. (sorry guys. you can set me straight if it ain't so) i asked Sir sweetly to take His cock out for me and then i explained to him it was my duty to please Master by pleasing him. He said "Fuck, yeah!!" and we were off and running. i remembered to compliment His BIG cock because i figure all guys like to hear that. Between screams of pleasure and pain i explained to him that Master enjoys hurting His slave and that Master will continue to hurt me until one of them cums. In order for me to have an orgasm, i knew i should make the stanger cum first, so i stepped up the game by telling him that Master would love to watch the stranger fuck me, and i detailed all of the options he would have for fucking a cunt whore slave like me. i'm not a wife or girlfriend who can say no. He kept saying "Fuck, yeah!!" i got my orgasm (allowed by Master, of course). actually, i had many more that day. Master is very generous with me
i am guilty of driving while in subspace. i left His presence today floating on a cloud of submissive adoration. i worried about getting pulled over for erratic driving and the officer finding the container of piss that i had so carefully iced in the cooler before leaving Him. urine transport is not against the law but what ever would i say? it is not clear to me what Master will have me do with the piss cubes i will make when i get home, but one can guess. they are waiting in the freezer right now as i sit here typing....
back to the scene. it was a gorgeous day but we moved inside to do the business we had come for. i wore jeans with a low cut leather vest that zipped up the front and displayed my more than ample cleavage. Master unzipped the vest half way while He enjoyed a smoke and i stood about with nervous fear and lust combined, feeling like prey before the predator pounces.
He allowed my request to 'freshen up' which means i went into the bathroom and fretted that the enema i had given myself wasn't effective enough and maybe He would fuck my ass and maybe it would be dirty and then it would be a scat experience in my mouth because one of my functions as a cunt whore is to keep His cock clean. fuss & fret. at least His cunt was waxed and smooth. He was waiting so out i must go. Stripped and naked to my Master except for my collar.
Straight onto His cock with my mouth. The first thing He did,of course, was inspect my asshole. i thought, How the FUCK does He know? nervous and humiliated i tried to twist my ass out of His way as He pulled my asscheeks apart and began exploring with His fingers (for some reason that is a fucking vulnerable feeling). retreating from Master's touch is NOT the thing to do with Master and probably the one thing for which i've had the most severe punishments. a hard spanking ensued while i worked on His cock and Master berated me for my disappointing behavior then kicked me to the floor where i waited for His order to spread my legs. Apparently i didn't deserve to get fucked yet so instead got my cunt strapped. a thin leather strap Master used to strike at my cunt lips, clit, and the tender area around my asshole area that He previously inspected. attempts to close my legs to the pain resulted in an even more severe strapping of my inner thighs. i always beg and plead for him to stop. He always ignores me. Regardless of the pain, my cunt is slippery and wet. so close to orgasm and beginning that hungry need to be filled that reduces me further to the greedy, begging, pain slut, cock whore that i am.
Master announces i will earn the privilege first. He will call a stranger (a friend to Master but someone i've never met or seen) and i will say whatever i need to say to get him excited and make him cum. i have never been good at phone sex. i am extremely shy and the thought of doing this embarrasses me. i fear i just sound stupid and phony. but the alternative was having the guy actually come over, so i did it. and you know, it wasn't that hard. apparently guys are horny and easy this way. (sorry guys. you can set me straight if it ain't so) i asked Sir sweetly to take His cock out for me and then i explained to him it was my duty to please Master by pleasing him. He said "Fuck, yeah!!" and we were off and running. i remembered to compliment His BIG cock because i figure all guys like to hear that. Between screams of pleasure and pain i explained to him that Master enjoys hurting His slave and that Master will continue to hurt me until one of them cums. In order for me to have an orgasm, i knew i should make the stanger cum first, so i stepped up the game by telling him that Master would love to watch the stranger fuck me, and i detailed all of the options he would have for fucking a cunt whore slave like me. i'm not a wife or girlfriend who can say no. He kept saying "Fuck, yeah!!" i got my orgasm (allowed by Master, of course). actually, i had many more that day. Master is very generous with me
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Imagining What Might Happen
What i imagine happening? You know i can't help thinking about what's to come.
First, i imagine reconnecting with you and i do that best just sitting quietly on your lap with my head on Your shoulder, running my hands across Your chest, feeling Your heartbeat and breathing you in. touching Your face. kissing You deeply. feeling Your cock grow hard beneath me. and then seeing which one of us wants Your cock in my mouth first. i relish that moment when i first see Him emerge from Your jeans/pants and i anticipate having my lips wrapped around Your cock and feeling You on my tongue. and i love when Your entire body relaxes except for the hardness of Your erection. everything in the world seems right as i focus my entire being on uisng my mouth to pleasure my Master.
i wonder if i will hold my head proudly when You slap my face for the infractions. i have 5 this time, not 12 like last time. will i cry? will it be over quickly? i know i will feel a familiar rush of gratitude that always comes after my punishment when You kiss my freshly slapped face and hold me tenderly against Your chest.
i will patiently wait for Your piss in my mouth and i will also wait to receive whatever flavor of pain you require of me. Fear and lust combine with the knowledge You are trained in warfare and that serves to make me feel even more vulnerable.
i imagine there will be a turning point. as there always is. when i will become Your submissive bitch quite naturally as Your beast begins to come out. Civilized behavior shed like a cloak as we both become animals. no turning back, no limits, no protection from being used in any manner that You see fit. Your cunt. Your slave. Your whore.
First, i imagine reconnecting with you and i do that best just sitting quietly on your lap with my head on Your shoulder, running my hands across Your chest, feeling Your heartbeat and breathing you in. touching Your face. kissing You deeply. feeling Your cock grow hard beneath me. and then seeing which one of us wants Your cock in my mouth first. i relish that moment when i first see Him emerge from Your jeans/pants and i anticipate having my lips wrapped around Your cock and feeling You on my tongue. and i love when Your entire body relaxes except for the hardness of Your erection. everything in the world seems right as i focus my entire being on uisng my mouth to pleasure my Master.
i wonder if i will hold my head proudly when You slap my face for the infractions. i have 5 this time, not 12 like last time. will i cry? will it be over quickly? i know i will feel a familiar rush of gratitude that always comes after my punishment when You kiss my freshly slapped face and hold me tenderly against Your chest.
i will patiently wait for Your piss in my mouth and i will also wait to receive whatever flavor of pain you require of me. Fear and lust combine with the knowledge You are trained in warfare and that serves to make me feel even more vulnerable.
i imagine there will be a turning point. as there always is. when i will become Your submissive bitch quite naturally as Your beast begins to come out. Civilized behavior shed like a cloak as we both become animals. no turning back, no limits, no protection from being used in any manner that You see fit. Your cunt. Your slave. Your whore.
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