Well peeking out again means a search for a new Dom. It is inevitable. Can a slave ever be satisfied without ownership? In the meantime, we make do by focusing on the only thing in life that feels important and the other thing in life that seems necessary regardless. 1. kids 2. work.
But feelings surface. Needs intensify. And you get up in the morning and want to get slapped hard on the face more than you want starbucks. That is when you know it's time. But it's scary out there. And online is filled with more nut jobs than one could imagine.
Survival of my partnership is questionable. I gave up being a slave to work on that relationship because i truly feel that my partnership and my partner are important in my life. I love my partner very much. But i fear my need for another type of bondage will always be a barrier. Also, at my age (fast approaching 40) i wonder that i should be moving onto another hobby and leave the slaving to younger girls. Not quite yet, i think.
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5 comments:
no..no..you will never outgrow needing to be owned. Good Luck in your search. :)
i can't say i'v ever outgrown the need. in fact im hitting 40 this weekend and i want it more than ever.
good luck! =) elle
i wonder that i should be moving onto another hobby and leave the slaving to younger girls. Not quite yet, i think.
These words touches me deeply. i am 48 years of age now and don't have a Master right now. I also questioned myself; must i forget about my desires? i am in the same position like you; i have a partner and 2 kids. My partner doesn't have this feelings, but he gives me the freedom to submit to a Master. I had 3 D/s relationships, it's difficult to find me a Master and i suppose it has also to do with my age.
I have read your journey and it is beautiful written and comforts me in a way. Whish you all the best and hope you will find the Master that's right for you.
sweet greetz from Holland, mo
pixiepie. thanks and kisses. it is soooo good to read your words/blog again.
elle. happy birthday. yay! i hope 40 is the best fucking year ever. for us both.
moonheart. Your words really, really touched me. thanks for stopping by my blog. now i remember why i need to blog here. the care and support helps so much. when it gets difficult i remind myself vanilla relationships are not always easy either.
As with the three people before me, no, i don't think this feeling of wanting to serve a Master and please him will go away because of birthdays. It's in you; it's in your blood.
Compare birthdays to vanilla cake and D/s to chocolate frosting; sometimes you just want cake and sometimes the frosting on the cake. i think i lost my point...
anyways, i am glad to see you back!! i really am.
And am glad to see you blogging, too.
--toy
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